i wont give up on love,

even if the sky gets rough

i'm giving you all my love

i'm still looking up

the last day of pro term is here, we had pac today crazy tired stuff anyway we came in third. ugh i'll type more when i get home to an actual keyboard

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your soul
I will try to fix you

And High above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
<3


What's going on, you used to ask
and i'd smile in amusement, it baffles you, but i never got tired of the ring in your voice
Almost woody

Adhesive

I feel so Close to you right now
It's a forcefield
I wear my heart upon my sleeves like a big deal
Your love pours down on me, Surrounds me like a waterfall
And there's no stopping us right now
I feel so Close to you right now

-Calvin Harris

This blog's keeping me from writing in my diary proper I have to concede. Its different from what I thought it'd be. An exclusive perch on the top of the tallest pine in the alpine forrest. Of course, 'd be nice for some to share the view atop this immense wooden giant, but for now the company of the thin cold air would do just fine (:

Of personal issues, my diary would suffice and little inklings and small subtle cryptic allusions to these prying issues would all that be availed to you my dear stalking creepy readers

Beloved Summer

Mother to Son

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps.
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now—
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.


Langston Hughes

Thank you mum. I realise how much you've done for my life and believe me everyday I thank God every moment for such an amazing mother to watch and help me grow.

I think back now and then about the people who have influenced me along my life.

Back in kindergarten there wasn't many who really influenced me except my mum who spent a lot of time with us, sharing laughs and (very) stern lessons with us. She was notoriously skillful with the cain, and could inflict a heck load of pain just by a simple flick of her weapon. I remembered it was especially sadistic as she made us bring the cain to her from the storeroom. I remembered there were at least 2 cains to choose from. She'd give us the freedom to choose from these two rods of her sick pleasure. REMEMBER Choose the thicker ones kids! Thinner ones look less daunting but they hurt more!! I had my first crush in Kindergarten, a certain girl whose path surprisingly crossed with mine in JC. haha, it was such an awkward encounter, a close friend of an ex-classmate. She changed my world, diet-wise. I headed over to her house one day for lunch. and lo and behold there were, on my plate, my most feared foes- button mushrooms. In my mind i knew i had to eat them in order not to make a fuss and embarrass myself in front of her the 'love of my life'. haha. I gulped them down with minimal fuss and since then i've fallen in love with mushrooms big small long short. <3

Primary school i was most influenced by the bunch i hung out with in Primary 5 and 6, arguably the most impressionable years of primary school. I had opted for EM2 instead of EM1 because I, like so many, hated chinese and did not want to do higher chinese for another 2 years. These were a fun loving bunch, playing soccer everyday after school and hanging till late, which at that time happened to be the wee hours of 6pm after being released at 1pm from the clutches of the fenced up institution we used to slave in. We swore and cursed like the burly gangsters we were. and played soccer till the sky went dark. I admit i broke contact from them almost immediately after PSLE. hmm

more later. need time to think and read my book (:

Stop this Train

It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishment the scroll
I am the master of my life
I am the captain of my soul

-William Earnest Henley

Sleep to me feels like an advertisement between a drama serial. I forget abit of what happens before but look forward to what happens after these mindless jingles stop playing. Life seems too short for me to deliberate over every small thing that happens but there comes a time when something significant happens or something occurs to me to be important enough to just, stop. I promised myself the next person I got together with was the one I am to marry and spend the rest of my life with. and hence she has got to be perfect, the one I can and will pledge myself to wholeheartedly. A year ago i thought i found such a gem. but to my mind i lost her to circumstance. She hears music in technicolour and shouts in whispers. But that was a while ago.

Old Friend

I've forgotten how it is to blog, how it's semi-confidential in nature yet its presence on the web ensuring it will never be conclusively under the radar. Hence, it acts not as a confidant to personal issues which I want to be kept close to my heart, but rather of so-called "semi-personal" issues which I would not announce in the public but which I would (for usually guilt-edged purposes) not mind being aired to you, my anonymous unfrequent guests- if, any of course.

This blog has been dead for a good part of 10 months or so, and very much has happened within these months. Some good, and going without saying, some bad. To my mind much good has outweighed the bad, whose presence I am rather used to dusting under the carpets, or rather more accurately disposing of through the backdoor, for I do not backlog my problems.



The reason I revived this space on the massive internet is largely an inspiration from a friend I hold in high regard. It is the exact unique character of blogs (as stated above) that drove me to breathe life to (if possible) this dusty expense of cyberspace.

Retrospect can be a bitch sometimes, if not all the time involving events with sombre moods.
ugh. More later i'm due for dinner

the mood's less dire, that i'm thankful for.

soccer this morning got cancelled, maybe i'll go for a run or something.

:D

It's still my space :)

It was never meant to turn out this way, was it

We both knew i was a passing distraction.

The problem is, what if my heart isn't keen to pass,

and my mind flees from any correction.

Maybe I read too much into things and

things should be read at surface deep.

but my mind goes crazy and pulse rages

when i'm awake or sound asleep.

That's what it is you are, maybe just coincidentally

truly, a messenger to bear news, or a lesson-

that what i have inside of me should be kept safe

and not given at will.

Though i have to say, i'd do it again if i could.