It's my space

2011-06-18T08:57:00.002+08:00

the mood's less dire, that i'm thankful for.

soccer this morning got cancelled, maybe i'll go for a run or something.

2011-06-12T20:32:00.002+08:00

It's still my space :)

It was never meant to turn out this way, was it

We both knew i was a passing distraction.

The problem is, what if my heart isn't keen to pass,

and my mind flees from any correction.

Maybe I read too much into things and

things should be read at surface deep.

but my mind goes crazy and pulse rages

when i'm awake or sound asleep.

That's what it is you are, maybe just coincidentally

truly, a messenger to bear news, or a lesson-

that what i have inside of me should be kept safe

and not given at will.

Though i have to say, i'd do it again if i could.

2011-06-05T21:22:00.002+08:00

This is officially my space. i love it here. lol idk if anyone still comes here but i know i do. :)

So, FEP, AFRC, yes yes, all that jazz. People ask me "how's army", but i really do not know what to say. I tell my friends "i've got work tomorrow la, need to go home early". that's what it's become-work.

So now my schedules are as such:

Monday- ulu Pandan tuition thing

Tuesday-Wed - nothing, pending any meet-ups

Thurs-Soccer opera estate

Friday- pnp? or random outings

Sat- usually full with church pracs and the occassional street in morning at serangoon

Sun- church and soccer match, if not free time.

oh i mean 8-5.30 is work la, free meaning after 5.30pm

Brilliant isn't it. lol, no confinements, guard duties, extras, just pure civilian life.

I'm doing things I'd never guess I would 2 years ago. haha. i have the urge to study, i really do. i miss econs.

July 11th- posting day for the new bmt batch. first day of command school.

2011-05-23T23:43:00.003+08:00

Brutally honest I have no idea what I was thinking when I chose those big words on my title heading. A lot has happened in the last few months to let me know life never is and was never meant to be perfect, in a conventional secular stereotype.

2011-04-30T02:24:00.002+08:00

Instant noodles without the soup with a gravy of oyster sauce olive and oil and some red wine because i couldn't find anything else that had a strong flavour. yes, i spell flavour flavour not flavor. take that spell check.

I found myself being put in place somewhat when i was walking back home.. I had a lot of fun at drama night, absolutely, I just didn't think that what happened in the past could affect me so much in the present. It was strange that today triggered off many thoughts i had not thought about for the better parts of the previous year and a half, and i realised so many things about myself, my friends, and others around me. Coincidentally the day i finally returned to her page was the day of her announcement, what are the odds, i know.

My life has changed much since i left her and well i guess it's a closure of yet another chapter in my life.

I know where my life is going, aided evermore so by the non-necessity of decision making in a lot of the army. i must learn from my mistakes, and be a better man. i was initially supposed to incite political temperatures in me and write something about my political views, but perhaps another day. Thank you everyone in my life. I have gained much from you all.

2011-04-15T12:12:00.002+08:00

it was 9.54am, and then i wondered.. How was I going to let time fly from now till 10a.m when my Ns posting was going to come out. I loaded a youtube video, but ended up playing counter strike until, before I knew it, after getting killed thrice, it was 10.10am or so.

Logging on to the portal thing took no time at all, and finally the page was loading...

There it was


1.	You are posted to	AFRC.
2.	Your vocation is	FEP(TRAINEE).
3.	Your are to report to:	Depot Road Camp, SAF Careers Centre, CPMB Building.
	Reporting Date/Time:	18/04/2011 at 0800 hrs.
	Person to report to:	Recruitment Spec

To be honest I was expecting either SCS or OCS to be the first few abbreviations I see on the page, and then I saw.. CPMB building. depot road .. SAF CAREERS CENTRE?! and then in the next 10 seconds or so I realised AFRC was air force recruitment centre. I was consigned to the fact that someone somewhere didn't like me, but then I googled FEP AFRC to find that it was flying experience programme, and I probably was posted here because I had initially gone for the compass test, but had declined going for the medical test as I changed my mind about signing on for the air force..

It was a pretty sad moment for me as I was pretty sure i'd get into command school. I've been googling fep online and so far i've found a few people's blog posts saying how it's a 3 month vocation thing for prospective pilots, during which they will bring you for air force visits, youth flying club esque things and helping out with the air force recruitment personnel. Almost anyone who knows me would know... i'm not this kinda person. sigh. I sincerely hope to the best of the hoping abilities one could muster that within these 3 months someone'd repost me (hopefully) to command school.

2011-01-25T12:35:00.006+08:00

I was watching Independence Day yesterday on Channel 5, and couldn't help but wonder how corny storylines used to be.

Saying that though, I realise even more so how un-corny storylines generally are now.

It is probably a double paradox for script writers. Make it corny= people cringe and dislike the stuff you write. however, in order to be un-corny it has to be a surprise. First of all, it probably is very difficult to come up with a new twist every single time, and it has come to a point where a surprise is warranted and expected.

Hence, the only movies that, in my opinion, are worth watching are those which have interesting elements. for me, no longer are the actors and directors important, but rather the 'brandname' of the movie takes precedence.

Anyway, I couldn't really concentrate properly on the movie cuz i was so pissed at my phone not working. It's been jammed since last evening, and had a short recovery just now, i think it's jammed again. I can't press the buttons/i press the wrong icon even though i'm pressing the right one.. makes sense?

HOW's EVERYONE (Anyone, who reads this cobweb laden blog of mine :) )

It's been a mixed season for me, attended a course at agbc (reflection below), and after that have been going out a lot, got to a point whence i was so tired at the end of outings i'd quite literally fall asleep on the way home (sry deeb and timo heh)

There've been really fun fun outings and stuff.

Gar, can't wait for army eh.

You know, things have their reasons, and I have mine. :)

2011-01-18T18:01:00.002+08:00

Frederick Douglas, long-standing supporter of black rights and women’s rights once said

“A battle lost or won is easily described, understood, and appreciated, but the moral growth of a great nation requires reflection, as well as observation, to appreciate it.”

In the same way should we reflect our experiences and actions, for famous philosopher John Locke, known to me mainly for his political theories, once said

“Education begins the gentleman, but reading, good company and reflection must finish him.”

Furthermore, in 2nd Timothy chapter 2, Paul instructed Timothy to be a good soldier of Christ Jesus, as well as to teach what he has learnt to reliable people qualified to teach other people. Verse 7 then sees Paul asking Timothy to reflect on what Paul said, that the Lord will give Timothy insight.

This reflection shall cover four of the ideas I have found to my interest in this course. These are my personal interest in the first Canonical books, the impact of the intertestimonial Hesmonean Empire, How Paul caters to different audiences, and lastly how being in this class has affected my perspective on Christian life. I shall also cover other outside related readings and how each of these ideas has affected me.

The Canon had always had a grey spot on my heart, as I have had many friends asking me why there are discrepancies between the bible of the Catholics and the Protestants, and whether such a disagreement decreases the credibility of the bible, which both Catholics and Protestants regard as the Holy Word. My common response would be, “I’m not sure of that, but it doesn’t matter”, while inside of me I knew I had to find out about it. It probably seemed apt that Reverend Casey covered it on the first day of the course.

A quick search of the internet shows the books included and excluded from the bibles used by both Western and Eastern Protestants, Roman catholics and the Oxthodox church. This then begs my question: Are we losing out on what could be spiritually beneficial scripture to our daily lives, or are the other forms of Chrstianity bringing into their lives scripture that might be counter-productive?

My stand on my own rhetoric is, as Rev. Casey regularly says, such arguments do not matter in the larger scheme of God’s kingdom. Will the inclusion of one book or exclusion of another lead to more people being saved? It is by the Lord’s grace that the New Testament is undisputed as to which books are to be included, and which not. Short of going into the specifics and technicalities of the various canonical decisions, the Lord’s commandments are clear:
1. Love the Lord thy God with all your heart, all your soul, all your might
2. Love your neighbour as yourself

As heard of in class, the Law of love outrules any law on the face of this earth, and I find that very true. If you love God, You will not have other gods before Him, nor will you blaspheme His name, and celebrate the Sabbath in that we remember how God created the earth and all in it. We will choose to honor and love our father and mother, choosing not to kill, commit adultery, steal, bear false witness or covet our neighbour’s possessions, as we both love God who created us, wanting to be more like Him, as well as because we love our neighbours and those around us.
Birth out of this will be our love for the lost, resulting in our quest to save the lost.

3. Go out into the world, making disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father, the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
Therefore, this idea challenges me not to dwell on the minute details like whether chewing gum during service should be condemned, or even whether my actions will cause any other brother or sister in Christ to think anything of me, but rather that I shall lift my eyes to God and praise Him in all I do.

The second idea that hit me was during the covering of the Hasmonean Dynasty during Group presentations. Again, I had always wondered what happened in these years of silence. The thing that hit me hardest about this was how the Israelites always seem to be rebelling against authority and wanting personal gain over a common nationalistic identity.
For a better view of this, one can compare the feud between Hyrcanus II and Aristobulus II, as compared to more united kingdoms, such as the Japanese empire during the Second World War.

The Hasmonean dynasty had undergone initial expansions, and could have developed into a regional power, but instead fell to the sword of the relentless Romans, who used this vulnerable Judean region as a stepping stone to the middle Eastern region. One could argue also that the Roman conquest was inevitable, but the point was the ease of Roman occupation because of a segmented Israel.

Compared to the Japanese empire, the Japanese soldiers viewed the emporer as the undisputed ‘son of god’, and hence nobody within the kingdom objected to any orders he gave, thus giving rise to the relative success of the Japanese during the Second World War.
The lessons I learn from such an idea is how important unity is within a church. Many a time members oppose a pastor or a leader because they feel that those set as our shepherds are incapable of doing so. There is a continual paradox regarding this issue. Although the bible tells us to respect those put over us, yet sometimes we do not know whether such leaders are really divinely chosen, or if anyone involved is acting for their own gains.

Regardless, as a member within my church I should support those put over me, yet constantly ensuring that whatever they speak correspond with God’s word, but being careful not to be cynical of whatsoever they say. On the other hand, nobody’s perfect, and everyone has times where they drift slightly away from God, which is when us as followers support those over us and ‘nurse’ them back to health. These revelations were gained via thinking about such issues raised during class and talking with some leaders in my church, of course being my own opinions.

The third point I came across during this course is how Paul uses different ways to convey his messages to different audiences, as do the authors of the 4 Gospels. For example, since Matthew was speaking to the Jews, the author started off with the geneology, as well as making use of many prophesies being fulfilled, to probe to the Jews that Jesus was truly the son of God.
I find this point very appealing to me as it teaches me that there is no one way for evangelism. Some people respond better to the soft approach, while others respond better to the hard approach of warnings about Eschatology. I had always had the assertion that there were set formulas for evangelism, but the bible obviously says otherwise. Paul says he is to everyone what they are for the glory of God such that they can be saved.

My last point to be made is that being in such a bible school class made me realise how secular education differs from education for the use in God’s kingdom. Of course, the primary difference is secular knowledge passes away with the end of the Earth, yet knowledge of God is timeless. However, coming relatively fresh from the ‘A’ Level battle campaign, I had the belief that all education is a relative competition, in which the main aim and purpose was the divide the wheat from the chaff, the best from the rest.

However, this class has shown me how much love there is between fellow student ‘competitors’ as we strive toward the common goal of pleasing God and obeying his commandments. It really broke my heart coming in and being loved by people I had previously not known at all.
I thank God wholeheartedly for this experience that I have had and I encourage absolutely everyone to attend at least a course at bible college, to learn more about our Heavenly Father.


I have had outside related readings in the form of references for the group presentation.

In conclusion, this course experience, though not over yet, has already yielded to me much to ponder on and to bring into the army. To recap, the key points of interest have been the biblical Canon, the intertestimonial years of the Hasmonean Dynasty, how Paul tailors his letters to contextual audiences and how being in this class has let me seen God’s love.

2010-11-28T13:09:00.003+08:00

correlations correlations correlations.
I could go on all day about that which troubles me most. A distraught cornucopia of analogies and allegories that get my heart pumping fast and blood reach fever-pitch.

But at the end of the day i know He controls everything

2010-11-20T09:26:00.002+08:00

Dear Blog,

wow have I missed you. It's been so long since I've posted anything on here and spammers masquerading as trophy makers speaking Malay are the only individuals to tread on this hallowed space. I hope, just that you'd forgive me and that everything could go back to what it used to be, though to be honest I had never taken to the idea of regular blogging. heh.

I apologise for the much use of inappropriate shortforms and abbreviations, and promise that such a trend will live on. LOL. suck on that :)

Anywayz..

A levels have been crazy, I've got 4 more papers left. Technically 3. lol, well Bio Paper 3 on monday, followed by Chem MCQ on Monday afternoon, and then Econs Essay paper 2 on Tuesday. The next paper's not for another 10 or so days, on Thursday of the Following week.

So.. technically My A levels ends on Tuesday, when I'll be taking a short break from the craziness and then maybe next week I'll slip back into mugging mode and prepare for the bio mcq. :D

Well, whoever you are, I hope you're doing well for A levels, or if you don't take A levels, in life in general :)

Whoever you are, by the merit of viewing my blog.....

2010-10-02T10:11:00.001+08:00

I was going to type something, but don't feel like doing so.
erm oh yea!
Why you so liddat ah?

2010-09-29T01:32:00.002+08:00

ok so you must be thinking, well very pretentious huh naming your blog a social commentary.

yes. i agree. haha. it genuinely is pretentious. it was a spur of the moment. what, so i'll change title now and again.

I seem to be unable to sleep, thinking about the past and the future.
I was skimming through facebook and I realised how fickle everything is, and how i've changed through relationships. I won't go into explicits but I genuinely thank God for everything i've been through, and everything I will go through.

Interestingly I think more of those that could have been. What has been tugs at your heart strings now and again but if you know something could have but didn't happen, that haunts you.

Thinking back I think there were a good 3 relationships i could have been in, but was too cowardly to take up. and no, i have no qualms about opening up myself to others, it's not as if my arch enemies will psychoanalyse me and design a killer drone to tickle me in my sleep till i spill the magic beans yea.

We went to celebrate darren, lucas' and wadee's birhday yesterday, it was really fun. Fish and Co and then climbed the giant hill to timbre. that place seems to be exclusively for I.P outings huh. lol. I've honestly never been to That place with any other group of friends. And consequently I've got that song stuck in my head. "It's a quarter after one, and I'm a little drunk and i need you now".
So beautiful

If i'm up in an hour i'll watch the arsenal match. perhaps

2010-09-26T09:43:00.002+08:00

So check it out.
Social stigma in Singapore seems to be less stringent and less exclusive than does political stigma.

Political stigma prevents raising of matters such as racial differences, homosexual marriages, and limitations of certain legislative practices.
Societal stigma, however seems to embrace these facts as matters of life.
It's interesting that in our everyday lives we accept them as part and parcel of life.

Following that politics should be leading torch in paving the way for society, is this where society is being led toward?

then again, It would not be strange to see a political party member cracking racist jabs and being overall informal.
I qualify myself- i don't mean that at a social level we are insensitive to such issues, just that we generally accept them and are sensitive to them out of a conscientious character.
then again some would see this as self-censorship birth from years of coercive national education, but I, for one at least consciously, feel much less influenced by national education which i viewed as an unnecessary obligation.

2010-09-04T19:41:00.002+08:00

Sometimes. Sometimes it's still lonely when i'm alone at home.
I return to my ways sometimes when i'm down :)

Raindrops. How they fall.
Streaking across. The window.
The wind, on the outside
Howls past, echo.

Emptiness, no, fullness.
Of what, emptiness.
Circles, unstable, round circles
Whole lines filled with. nothing.

Fill it up with fame

Roll the dice, spin that wheel,
Again. Win them all.
Wealthy richmen, cabaret feathers,
Routine, round like a ball.

So throw that ball, strike we go,
21, game, all in, pass, call.
Ball, Circle, filled with what
Emptiness, nothing at all.

Fill it with girls, many,
Fill it with lust and greed
Full, there we go, you like that sir?
Full. just what i need.

More, Bring them, here they. come.
Keep them, keep them. Coming
"Her that one, number #1535"
Good pick sir, she's rather. Charming

Something inside me dies.

Fill it with God.

2010-08-27T13:40:00.002+08:00

oh my.. oh my.. i just realised how suggestive that last post was. uh. yea.. um, no it's not that. it's something i thought of on a busride home.

Imagine if this guy, whose created an imaginary world in his mind obsessed with this girl, and interprets everything this girl does to him (wrongly obviously) as signs of love and affection toward him. Imagine how jovial he is everyday because of that.

Question: would you tell him the truth?

Imagine after the girl gets married, he must've been speechless. Waking up from his fascination, he realises that he cannot tell the girl and confront her without him looking like a maniac and ruining what friendship they shared between them, while he could not tell anyone because they too would think him crazy.

If only those memories were his.

2010-08-20T21:31:00.002+08:00

I remember that smile and laugh while you bent over with that rather spastic nature of yours. I chuckle when i think of the stuff you say and the things you do.
I distinctly remember the warm and peace you give when you smile, or when you crack those jokes which i genuinely find funny.

Well, now you're gone. at least there's still the memories.

If only those memories were mine.

Sneaky fox.

2010-08-15T12:48:00.002+08:00

Hey, I feel like I'm throwing a note-filled glass bottle into the sea. So whoever chances upon this site, or reads this post. Well here goes :)

So i slept real late last night and woke up late for church... in fact 15 minutes before 1pm.

I had this dream, it was kinda strange. It's strange cuz during that dream i was in KFC, and KFC had nothing nice to eat, some random barbecued things on a stick, and something on promotion i can't remember what, i think was popcorn chicken. Everything was 1 dollar or 4 dollarsish, so the only thing worth filling my stomach with were these chicken steaks-ish things, but the menu was really skimpy.
like it went "Grilled chicken" and then around it was just pictures without words lol.

oh yea, there was this ice cream promotion thing.. you know in Australia they've got this burger king promotion with a mcflurry and a burger..
So we drive to this kfc and sit down, somehow everyone's food just appears in front of them except mine and mum's.. and just as i was going to queue up the queue increases like 10 fold. haha. I point this out to my friends and they have a laugh, and so I try to do the.. tell mum to help me order sorta thing, because she was pretty far ahead in the queue. So as i'm whispering it to her some lady behind says "hey.. no doing the inqueue ordering thing ok.. i can't hear you but..", lol first of all. I didn't know there was a term for the "in queueordering thing" lol, and usually in real life people don't really care. So i get really pissed and i end up looking at her squarely and walking toward her, by this time she starts walking back.. I then change my mind and i have my arm over both her and my mum, though she keeps on talking about what I should've done, and how i was wearing my VJ uniform.. which i didn't know i was.

YES i remember now.. what was preceding the KFC experience was I was walking along Siglap road, you know the one up the hill to the cemetary, well I was walking the opposite direction toward the siglap centre and along the road I saw people in VJ uniform on a sunday studying in the open. Just tables and chairs on the road studying, and then this RJ girl's sitting there studying, she was kinda cute, and I had to dodge to not hit her. yea. it was kinda strange.

Well the BPL starts today.. on a brighter side of things. :)

2010-07-17T00:20:00.003+08:00

What's going on in my head. I don't get it. It's like putting on your favourite song, and then playing your second favourite song at the same time. You recognise the form, you love the songs, but you're just unnerved by something, but you can't put your finger down on what it is. Is it just the clashing words/chords/tunes? Or is it something else, like having the things you cherish in life being crushed down and distorted?

They say too much of a good thing is a bad thing. And then what? take less of the good thing? wouldn't that then be a bad thing.

Nevertheless, I thought about this on the way home. In basketball, it's only a rebound if you score. isn't it? :)

you know what, i don't know what to think anymore.

Why do i lose all hope when i see what i see,

Why do i get affected by such amazingly insignificant things?

Why do italics mean i'm writing about my intimate relationship-ish feelings? haha

Good try though :P

I dare you to move

2010-07-05T08:41:00.003+08:00

Ok less emo post this time :)

It's been 6 month being single so far..
That was the thought in my mind yesterday while going home. Don't know why it occured to me but it did.
and i've absolutely no idea what the implications of that thought are..

anyway lol i dreamt i fought with an old man yesterday who pissed me off, maybe cuz of this other guy at laguna yesterday who sold me a plate of omelette that was lying on the counter. and i took it =.= . sigh.

Anyway to those awake now Why're Yall awake now?!!

and to those sleeping, well, i pretty much can't say much to you if you aren't exactly.. conscious huh.

2010-06-30T18:19:00.002+08:00

Hey are you there, are you listening?

For the first time in a very long time i have felt at my wit's end, lost about what to do and which path should take.

Honestly 14 weeks to A levels, what do i have to show for the X-14 weeks i've spent in vj?

Not very much at all.
Shall i even burden the school with myself. Buck up or get out.

Even if i wanted to retain, would they want me..
no, i shall try. even if till the very end. i shall try.

2010-06-27T11:34:00.001+08:00

can u take over me Lord

2010-06-27T11:28:00.002+08:00

Aaron Shust- Give me words

Calloused and bruised
dazed and confused
My Spirit is left wanting something more
Than my selfish hopes
and my selfish dreams
I'm lying with my face down to the floor
I'm crying out for more (crying out for more)

Chorus:
Give me Words to speak
Don't let my Spirit sleep
Cause I can't think of anything worth saying
But I know that I owe You my life
So give me Words to speak
Don't let my Spirit sleep

Every night, every day
I find that I have nothing left to say
So I stand here in silence awaiting Your guidance
I'm wanting only Your voice to be heard
Let them be Your Words
Let them be Your words

(chorus)

I just don't understand this life that I've been living
I just don't understand (x2)
I just don't understand these lies I've been believing
I just don't understand (x2)

(chorus x2)

I know that I owe you my life
Owe my life
Owe my life
(x2)

2010-06-25T00:02:00.001+08:00

Stellar Memory [LIVE] - Someone Like You from FPS.com.sg on Vimeo.

2010-06-17T01:31:00.001+08:00

And with that, we bid adios, and with that, we disappear off the radar.

Like a butterfly we fly out the window.

Shout out to Laura, Ryan, Ron and and and and and and and D I V I N "Hello yea mum yea i'm talking to you on the phone" I A !!

you guys are awesome :P. so awesome yall don't read my blog heh heh

2010-06-14T18:57:00.001+08:00

Who could forget this :)

2010-06-13T19:57:00.000+08:00

just watched karate kid. needa rush off. Quick one

2010-06-13T00:02:00.001+08:00

you're thining about me you're thinking about me ..

heh awesome :)

2010-06-11T20:48:00.000+08:00

I swear you don't want to know the real me. the real me brooding below the surface. heh heh heh.. lol

2010-06-09T21:45:00.002+08:00

ok i've found what i've been looking for. lol that's a song isn't it..

uh yea. boyce avenue (forgive men amandatan, if you do read this)

2010-06-09T09:44:00.003+08:00

Woa...wow... not what i was expecting at all... was looking for acoustic covers. I just love high artistes love to do covers of each others' works. It seems so .. bitchy yet loving at the same time. I totally did not expect to find this..

haha, not awesome. just .. Brilliant. the first part got me sitting up..

hmm more pomplamoose for lack of a better find :D

2010-06-07T21:33:00.002+08:00

Rushinin off to the airport so i'll blog this real fast. Uncle posted this on facebook. so nice he heh GREEN PLAYER!

2010-06-03T15:54:00.002+08:00

ok so i was looking thru steve vai (i don't know why i was), and i saw this vid. i mean it's awesome and all, then i wondered what i could do with an electric violin.. so i searched electric violin. ok this is the steve vai vid

here's the the one i found. This guy's name is Ed Johnson, from Britain, he was doing Sweet Child of Mine. Notice the loops he uses.. i mean when it first hits you you're like. "oh, nice.." then after a while it gets a bit bland, but something's gripping on to me. Something underneath the skin like "hey, this is subtly brilliant"

2010-06-02T08:39:00.003+08:00

You know, it's difficult sometimes to gauge how people want you to act.
heck, it's difficult sometimes to even gauge how you feel at a given moment of time.

For me, quantifying how I feel isn't the difficult part. It's finding a song that fits how I feel.

I've to be honest, I found the song below while watching NCIS. Him sitting beside the fireplace reminiscing the times he had with a girl that left him. Came online straight away. Really really nice song.

Had a crazy day yesterday. Awesome yet crazy. Frankly by yesterday i mean the last two days, cos' i kinda slept for 14 hours from 5.30pm to about 6.45.. ok fine so more like 13 hours.

Do you think you leave an impression of people large enough that they would go out of their way to find you after you've left?

2010-05-27T01:02:00.001+08:00

2010-05-27T00:56:00.001+08:00

2010-05-19T11:02:00.001+08:00

Check.. this.. out . awesome

2010-05-18T22:34:00.003+08:00

The heat's really on now.

One day to Jalan Besar, about 13 hours to SPA.

Today's spa was kinda good i guess.. just memorise everything in mock spa and there we go..

AFter SPA went "breakfast/lunch" with genin amanda tan Brandon Huiying {Shanice and Titus} :)

Everyone started studying so what the heck took out Bio mock spa as well.. then genin amanda wanted to watch a movie.. so we all went to cine to watch kickass. hahaha it was AWESOME SHIT :)

ahh nice movie.. "Big Daddy" :P

Genin felt like fighting crime after the movie, poor her.. heh.

Next we walked, amazingly meeting Sheila and her mum and her sister as they were driving out to orchard road. haha. she got out and joined us, w went to coffee bean and .. lol.. uh.. chatted?

it was really funn.. heh.

took 65 back with amanda, mum picked me up and whisked me back home. ate nasi lemak to add to the other spicy stuff i had in my stomach.

wow summary of my day. kinda reinforcing bio mock spa into my head now.. ALL the best to all of you SPA people!

2010-05-05T22:21:00.000+08:00

She watches the sunset slip out of sight She points to the lilacs in bloom Her eyes filled with wonder And my eyes they do the same Just looking at her face  Now how did I get here? What have I done to deserve this? I have been showered by grace It's a beautiful night It's a glorious day When I'm looking at her face  I'm closing the curtains To keep the night in The morning is coming too soon She is still sleeping And I I'm still awake Just looking at her face  Now how did I get here? What have I done to deserve this? I have been showered by grace It's a beautiful night It's a glorious day  More than just beauty The something inside I see in her face Shines in her eyes All that I want For the rest of my life Every night that I sleep Every morning I wake Is to be looking at her face  Now how did I get here? What have I done to deserve this? I have been showered by grace It's a beautiful night It's a glorious day When i'm looking at her face It's a beautiful night It's a glorious day When i'm looking at her face It's a beautiful night It's a glorious day When i'm looking at her face

2010-05-02T00:44:00.001+08:00

Check this out..
Soz thanks to Leon for finding this band. I'm amazed, accoustic music is beautiful. :)

2010-04-28T22:38:00.001+08:00

Obsessed.

Have you ever been so obsessed you can think of nothing else, even though everything tells you

in an overwhelming fashion.

that you shouldn't.

Well that's how i feel.

I remember all my life
Raining down as cold as ice
A shadow of a man
A face through a window
Crying in the night
The night goes into

Morning, just another day
Happy people pass my way
Looking in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized
How happy you made me oh Mandy

[Chorus:]
Well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy

I'm standing on the edge of time
I Walked away when love was mine
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing
The tears are in my mind
And nothing is rhyming, oh Mandy

[Chorus]

Yesterday's a dream I face the morning
Crying on the breeze
The pain is calling, oh Mandy

[Chorus]

You came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
You kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you...

2010-04-20T06:46:00.001+08:00

For the bad news, i fell asleep while studying yesterday.. doing econs at 6.45 in the morning, sigh..

Perhaps next time studying on my bed wasn't such a good idea. lol, i snigger at myself.

For the good news, TRY is stuck in my head..

If i walk, would you run?
If i stop, would you come?
If i say you're the one, would you believe me?
If i ask you to stay, would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me.
The world is catching up to you
While you're running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If i sing you a song, would you sing along?
Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If i give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful.
Am i catching up to you?
While your running away to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

I will try for your love
I can hide up above

2x huh huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh huhhh

If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me

2010-04-19T15:31:00.000+08:00

I wish you bluebirds in the spring

To give your heart a song to sing

And then a kiss, but more than this

I wish you love

And in July a lemonade

To cool you in some leafy glade

I wish you health

But more than wealth

I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree

That you and I could never be

So with my best

My very best

I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm

A cozy fire to keep you warm

But most of all when snowflakes fall

I wish you love

But most of all when snowflakes fall

I wish you love

I wish you love

I wish you love, love, love, love, love

I wish you love

2010-04-19T06:16:00.002+08:00

i know i really shouldn't be here, or doing this..

I know I shouldn't feel this way.

But i just can't get this Desperation out of my mind.

It's the Desire i have that no matter what i do.. Destiny seems to want to stay beckoning.

Modest you may say, but it's probably the only thing that's hArDesT to forget...

ARGH. It's clammering up my mind, all i know is i should try to keep it out of my mind and concentrate on what's on my Desk.

Cos' at the end of the day it's whose results scream the lOuDeSt that matters.

Negative inductive effect Destabilises a compound =/

2010-04-14T00:36:00.001+08:00

When all is said and done

Don't you think it's about time to call it a day

To stop delving in matters past our time.

2010-04-12T00:18:00.004+08:00

idk if you've ever felt this way.. i know i have..

Facebook's awesome, but sometimes it feels a bit claustrophobic.. like how every status and every comment you say can carry the risk of being shot back into your face.

That's why i keep this blog.. here, distant and withdrawn from opinions gossip and slander, are my words, living on this blog, living not because of its essence, or by some divine appointment to these symbols on a page, But living because of their connection to me, the writer of these words. In short, alive because I am.

Which begs me the question. How many friends do you think you have that are friends with you just because. Not for some quality you possess, not for something you can give him/her.. but purely because.

What if you disappeared from the face of the Earth for 5 days. Who would call you, who'd check on you?

Then again, we're all friends with someone Because of something, because they're fun to be around, they relate to us, they share some common interest of talking point which bind us together.

No one truly is interested in someone because... The only one i can think of like that is God, but of course let's keep this in the mortal realm shan't we :)

Parents are interested because of kin, so i guess that's as close as you can get.

I believe a true best good friend would be in a state where, no matter how the friend changes, for better or worse, he should always put his friend first, over his own welfare.

I was out with A (T) D (I) E (M) E (O) B today, supposedly to study, much to the decreased welfare of starbucks, thereby enroaching upon them negative externalities, and so they told us not to study, but did not tell us not to sit there and talk. so that's exactly what we did.

Talking to them reminded me of when i was in IP1, when i was beginning to gain a foothold in life, albeit without a dad to guide me in life. I looked to my friends, to my mother, to God for a figure to follow.. I think ultimately the people around me were my biggest influence, and thankful for me, those whom i surrounded myself with at that time thought me humility, patience, understanding, and ultimately how to care. I've never thought about it this way, and this is by no means taking away credit from any of my other friends who've thought me lots about life and helped me enjoy life so much, but just focusing on these two :P...

Adeeb and Timo, If you're readnig this (lol TIMO READ MY BLOG ALREADY), thank you. so much for all you've invested in my life.

This brings me back to my initial question. Who'd genuinely care for you, and not get bored of being your friend. I find that it's something greater and high above being interested in someone, but comes after long-term contact with a person. A deep lovefilled caring bond emerges.

2010-04-07T23:02:00.002+08:00

Soz i can't type properly on a very badly lit keyboard, with random keys here and there, switching on the Num lock, pressing//// keys alot.. sigh..

Anywayz, if i misspell anything.. forgive me :D

And by six fifteen i'm on the train,
Thirty miles until the final stop, and still i have to walk a few more....

And oh what a thrill, to finally be with you..
When i see your face i know
There ain't nothing strong enough to keep me away from you...

Baby i'd just walk on thru........

DAvid Ryan HArris.. Legend

2010-04-05T01:03:00.002+08:00

So this is me thinkin..

What sets me apart is who i am, and what i do.

I don't want to lose that part of me. i never do.

So... if anything were the case. I'm me, they're them, He's him, she's she. you're you.

And that's all that matters. simple as :P

2010-04-04T18:06:00.006+08:00

It's like i'm forcing myself, it's like i'm putting myself through somebody else's dream.

It's either somebody's lying to me, or that I'm lying to myself

Masked and Understood

A penny for your Many thoughts,
An echo for your words,
When some things just don’t make no sense,
And others go unheard.

I wonder what it’s like
To be on the other side
To be painless, thoughtless
to have nothing to hide..

You’ll never know...
What life like..
On this side of the fence,
On this side of the fence

You’ll never know what life’s like
On this side of the fence
You’ll never see,
What life’s like for me,
When nothing makes any sense...

To come back at the end of the day
Wonderin’ what i’ve done
Whether i’ve wasted time all away
My thoughts start to weigh a ton

Lookin at you, lookin at me,
And Wonder, yea that’ll all i can do...
This cursed brick wall, one i cannot breach,
One that’s keepin me still from you

You’ll never know...
What life like..
On this side of the fence,
On this side of the fence,

You’ll never know what life’s like
On this side of the fence
You’ll never see,
What life’s like for me,
When nothing makes any sense...

A penny for your many thoughts,
An echo for your words,
When nothing just don’t make no sense,
I’m better left un heard...

2010-04-04T17:12:00.001+08:00

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

2010-04-03T01:04:00.005+08:00

okokokok nownownow I've got this awesome things to share with everyone. I've been looking long and hard (ok since i got home) for good acoustic covers. and here's what i've found thus far

Fireflies-Owl City

I love the way he puts in his own flavours especially in the verse and the second third and so on choruses.. the chords sound really tasty too.

and..

Ryan haha.

hmm, i'm in no position to judge, but the third verse sounded bit draggy. apart from that i think it's awesome :P

NOTE: YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST FOUND.. HAHA

ok. I was desperately trying to find acoustic covers for Lose yourself, the eminem song i recently blogged about.

Well after a few eminem replicas, check it out.. trust the girls to come up with something like this..

awesome isn't it. i have to admit. I had absolutely no idea what would come out. Whether this girl would rap, or whether someone else would rap. But wow.. lol.

She is amazing. Amazing version. i wanna hear this with a guy's voice. Chorus a bit weak in my opinion but amazing song.

Something else i found as well.. haha this is for my own entertainment.

This is pretty much Strictly for my own entertainment, cos' i wouldn't really regard this as an acoustic cover lol. But amazing nonetheless.

I admire people who take what is fixed, or what is accepted, and blow it so out of proportion that no one would even know what to expect, and are on top of that... good at it. :P

Happy Good Friday Folks.

2010-04-02T18:26:00.002+08:00

At Ryan's house now, nua-ing on the bed.

Ryan and Desiree Koh MJ looking on with bated breath.

Old Grandma in the opposite block seems to have disappeared, evaporated into thin air.

They're stealing the fan, i swear they are. sucking away my air they are..

What else can you ask for on a good friday eh? Edit: I got fan now. Smiling lots

Yesterday was amazing that i assure you.

Ridin' the Endorphins and other finned mammals after the match, to sambal squid at dinner and finally the watery end product which is kept in the confines of my toilet.

It was awesome, bar the constraints of the pain i endured overnight =/

and here I am trying to impress the two sitting behind me with "poetic" english (According to Ryan, who seems to be very impressed, unlike with Desiree, who looks on with a mocking look upon her face)

She's whimpering like a pup, calling me an ass. nice. very nice, on Good Friday.

Macbooks are soooo coooooollllxxxoxooxzxzxzz@$#@@!#$.,./;';\][

TGIGF:)

2010-03-31T14:52:00.003+08:00

You know what.. now that i come to think about it.. this song's been stuck in my head for longer than it is good for me.
I can't exactly hear the song but i hope this version's good. i shall vet it later :P

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

2010-03-24T00:45:00.001+08:00

This song is amazing. Makes you wanna focus.
If you had one shot, one opportunity, chance of a lifetime..

Just makes you wanna stand up and be counted

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking, how everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Easy, no
He won't have it , he knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stagnant that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This this whole rhapsody
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is boring, but superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cause here goes the cold water
His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old partner', but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

[Hook]

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this motherfucking roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhyming and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's paying the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cause man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Trying to feed and water my seed, plus
Teeter totter caught up between being a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screaming on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another day of monotony
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only motherfucking option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cause maybe the only opportunity that I got

[Hook]

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

2010-03-17T11:26:00.001+08:00

Lol this is crazy. i can't do this anymore

2010-03-12T18:06:00.003+08:00

How do i feel at this moment. I love these random snap polls that people don't exactly crave to read but it makes me feel better knowing someone can potentially know how i'm feeling.. yea.

A lil' boy with an arsenal shirt just walked through the glass door (ok fine you can't walk THru the door.. walked INTO) the serangoon macs at which i am positioned, perched peculiarly, with my first ever cup of McCafe Cappucino. I was feeling very very sleepy.

Here's what happened.. I met Wadee Simin Lucas who were about to watch alice in rabbit hole, when i realised i had to get to Serangoon, and i would be late if i joined them to watch. So i parted ways with them at orchard, and was supposed to take the train opposite direction from them.

By some miraculous amazingly divine reason, I managed to take the next train in the same direction with them. In my defence, I was extremely tired. heh. ok so I am tired most of the time anyway. I take the MRT all the and fall asleep, only to be awoken by the constant mildly irritating tapping of the MRT uncle on my shoulder. He asks me where I was supposed to drop.

ah i'm home now. too tired to blog

2010-03-09T19:56:00.003+08:00

ok i have to blog. lol
Bio was ok la.. i felt much better studying prior to the exam this time, unlike many other times before.. There's math tomorrow and chem the next. so i'm gonna go study after this.. i guess. heh.

ANYWAY.. after bio went with Karhoe and Jiajie to macs @ Bedok. lol. Oh First Zhi Wei got dam funny joke. but i probably can't blog about it =/.
So in macs we saw this dam bad miss from a wolves player against man utd. his name was Vokes but i thought it was Jokes. lol. uhh it seemed funnier at that time.

I got home and slept the whole afternoon away.. on the floor. I started petting Ashley (NOT February love petting.. gosh), then started falling asleep and eventually plonked myself onto the floor, with ashley nicely sleeping on my hand. it was dam cute lol.

Woke up, mum bought food and lotsa redbull and coffee, now why would i need that.. hmm..

Adeeb =/

2010-03-09T06:52:00.001+08:00

2010-03-08T02:00:00.002+08:00

I get it now! lol i get why people are so against free trade agreements!

See how much of an impact you have on my life...

(=^ㅈ^=) CAT

2010-03-07T23:24:00.003+08:00

haha ok i'm quoting from desiree's blog. www.deskmj.blogspot.com

She was talking about how the queue a giants was dam long, how ppl were stocking up on cny stuff.
and then she says

But seriously man,
if tomorrow got war or smth,
Sporeans would survive well. =x

hahaha i'm like wth. that really made me laugh lol

i had to post this song. TAKE THAT TIMO silent hill tsk

2010-03-05T13:36:00.002+08:00

This goes out to the ones who persevere 49 miles, just to collapse in the final .5 mile.
This goes out to the ones who miss on the first strike, swung air in the second, and when the final third ball is tossed; misses in unglamorous fashion.
This goes out to the ones who sacrifice their own lives for the good of their comrades, only for that sacrifice to be in vain.
This goes out to the ones who embark on a journey of a thousand miles, only to stumble and fall at the first step.
This goes out to the ones who aim high, miss high, miss low, and end up with nothing.
This goes out to the ones who aspire, but fail to inspire.

This goes out to all of the above, and those who rise from the ashes.
It takes more in face of failure, adversity.
It takes far far more.

2010-03-02T01:07:00.005+08:00

I think i have spent 20 minutes on this, and this has made me realised:
1. i should stick to technology and use modern can openers
2. can soup should come in like packets
3. i should stop boiling the water if i have trouble opening the can simultaneously.

ok, so perhaps i'm not a can opener type of person. i pulvarised the top of the can, just like i'm pulvurising the spelling of the word.

To my horror, vid tutorials like

didn't really help..

And

heh.. maybe more so for the second one, How not to get distracted?!

20 minutes, lotsa frustration and sweat later, I have rescued the soup paste thing from inside the dreaded can.
Soup for the soul. lol my ass.

2010-02-21T21:43:00.002+08:00

you know what.. hehh
I've been crazy about this.
SO HAS AMANDA TAN KIM CHEE :P
ja ja ja ja ja
lope lope lope lope lope :D

ok anyway i was at the beach that day, on the way to birthday celebration with my family.. i wrote something along the way before my battery died :P

here goes:

And when all you hear is

your foot steps, casual chatter,

the frequent runner's steps pounding

Down

past you. The buckle of a leash,

The three coins in my pocket.

Careless Laughter.

The occassional exchange in a tongue i deem foreign

A child's laughter.

A very beautiful thing.

And finally.. Beyond and behind these sounds of constant proportions

is the literal rumble of the waves hitting the shore.

Why is it so different?

Is it the reckless synchronisation of consecutive giants colliding with an unmoving wall of sand?

Or is it the sheer magnitude and the knowledge

or rather

The lack of knowledge that whereever there be oceans and shores

there will be waves..

That makes it all the more amazing,

That makes it all the more overlooked and taken for granted.

For what man instilled here was designed not to amplify nature, but to harness it,

to make use of it

And for those who've stayed till the end, here's a treat :P

2010-02-21T20:57:00.002+08:00

I'm amazed at how bi-polar my blog posts can get.

2010-02-20T01:04:00.002+08:00

You know what, i don't care who you are, or what you do, what your motives and what you intend on doing.

For now until the time i get well, when i can properly deal with my thoughts and my feelings,
Do not distrust me. Do not pretend you can deal with what i'm going through just because you think you can.

No malice is involved or intended. Just let me be ok. Just for now. you can come at me all you want after this.
But for now. pity me. sympathise with me. and do not judge me.

2010-02-16T08:34:00.001+08:00

I feel like such a dumbass.

Grar. first was Yesterday, then procrastinated till today. and now i can't even do it.
Not cos' of myself, but cos' of circumstances.
Argggghhhh

2010-02-07T10:26:00.001+08:00

Viewer discretion advised.

It's amazing what you can find on youtube. Take this vid however you want to take it.

2010-02-04T20:56:00.002+08:00

you know sometimes.. you're pissed. but you don't want to be better.

you want something and you know it'll take time.

and that sucks.

I want to be fitter, better, more academic. I want self control and determination.

I'm working toward it.

I want a KI proposal =/

2010-01-29T00:54:00.003+08:00

Probably the most unhealthy thing i've ever had. ergh. heck it.

My dad was thought me what to do if i were hungry and it was like 1am in the morning. i distinctly remember that night when we were still living in seletar. He had just got home, came in and i told him i was hungry. He took me to the kitchen, and without switching on the lights, flipped on the switch for the outside (backyard) lights. the spots came on, it was a scenic sight, with the lights rays losing itself on the nearby patch of grass. slowly it dissipated until you couldn't see what else was in the distance. Under the spot i felt like on a show, a cook show nonetheless. He opened a cup noodles cup, poured boiling water in, and then proceeded to taking an egg and breaking it onto the frying pan, which by now was already simmering with oil. After 30 seconds, his instructions very clearly were, you should flip it, preferably without the use of a spetula. it was this that i prided myself with. flipping an egg, albeit with the more than occassional splatter of egg yolk onto the ground, which ashley then came alone to lick up. So after draining the cup noodles of its water, add about a spoonful of oyster sauce and then add olive oil at will. :P. olive oil's the good stuff in this dish in my opinion. stir the whole thing and add the fried egg on top. Proceed to eat it BEFORE you wash up to maximise the experience :P.

Just had it. added too much oyster sauce.. so had lotsa remainder sauce which i took one spoonful of and thought it unwise to continue. cheers :)

2010-01-27T01:07:00.002+08:00

it's 1.07am. anyone whom i had conversations with be it on msn or text is now asleep. sound asleep. What am i doing up so late?

I'm so tired and so sleepy

but i just can't sleep it's kinda creepy

No shit why not turn inta bed,

it's so late it's too late, it's easier than said

i'm watchin eight miles on my com,

Don't know where i got it from.

But it's awesomest thing i've seen

and it's content is far from clean.

it's an awesome show. check it out.

Check it out what it's about
:P

2010-01-11T08:41:00.003+08:00

I feel like so much has happened over the last week. emotionally, physically, knowledge-ly, and many other ly's which at this point scarcely evades me, owing to whichever predicament.

I don't wanna let the things i've learnt over this trip slide. Cos' i know that this was truly a once in a lifetime trip. it was really awesome.

I thank everyone anyone who has made this trip so beautifully awesome for me. :D

2010-01-03T01:36:00.000+08:00

Guess what! i have found my new emo song. har har har

hhahaha.. this is awesome. singing through sashimi. MV one day please!

2010-01-02T06:44:00.003+08:00

hhaa oh my gosh. this has to be the coolest thing that has happened on this com

So i was getting really pissed with internet not working on my com even though it was 6.40a.m and i had slept for about 16 hours. take that overnight service :P.

So i switched on my itunes, started off with realize by colbie calliat, setting for a very slow chilled surfing before i get ready for training.

Internet started working again, so i was looking through some photos on facebook, usual camwhoring ones from church, year end party etc.haha.

For some reason it was much more enjoyable to look through than usual, then i realised i never really played this song on itunes. It was promise by Simple Plan. haha. it's an awesome song to view pics to. esp. fun photos.

unto rather more serious business, i dreamt she came to ask me some questions. uh.. lol. i recognise now she could mean up to half the human population. so you'd just have to ask heh.

2009-12-28T17:06:00.003+08:00

Hey ya'll. haven't been here in a long time.

I just feel like my life's turning around and bitin' my in the arse.

I feel this song applies to so many parts of my life. get a piano or a guitar, play it and sing along. it's powerful, i assure you.

It is these kind of emotions, in life. These one time revelations and amazing discoveries of one's life and reflection, Enriching Moments of Ordinance, (EMO for short :P)

These emotions cannot be bought. They are brought when, after being cornered, one then pieces together his life from what he has, what he wants and what he dreams of, to aim to become a different person.

The norm is easy, fun. What i want to be is something else, someone else.

What's in the past stays there, for us to look back and prevent it from happening again. Probably one of my life's greatest regrets is how i treated Petrina. For that I am very sorry. I would make amends but i'm afraid it's too late.

from here on end, it will be a struggle finding who i am.

New friends, keeping old friends. I'll just take it as it comes

Stay single Gabriel. Stay single

I'm just being really honest, probably too honest for an open blog. But heck. this is my space isn't it.

The song's beautiful

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh

2009-12-06T23:26:00.003+08:00

Cannot. Cannot. Cannot.

I cannot switch from "Let's get this started" to "Let's get this over and done with"

Cannot. Keep your spirits up. :P

2009-12-05T17:07:00.002+08:00

I had rough day today. That was what i was going to describe my day after the match.

Now. rough is such an understatement.

I feel like i should just disappear.

really.

Today made me notice evil in people, as opposed to the good i try to look out for usually.

Thanks Simin. You really made my day and cheered me up :D

---> LOOK AT TAGBOARD

2009-12-04T03:09:00.002+08:00

la..di la.. di da

i can't sleep!

Edit: do you think possibly probably just maybe-ly me talking about me not being able to sleep makes me even more not prone to sleep.

Then again how can i be not prone to something, as opposed to being not very proned to something. so therefore, is not being prone to something being not very proned to, or just unproned?

2009-12-03T13:43:00.001+08:00

Remember Habbo hotel?

bobba all this shit.

I'm gonna do something.

Something on impulse

2009-11-29T22:51:00.002+08:00

Just when i thought i had enough to think about- youth camp vs training

Now there's something else. sigh.

I totally did not need this right now. at all.

2009-11-27T20:24:00.001+08:00

If you ever think of adding tomato sauce into soup while cooking instant noodles cos' you think it's nice... I've one thing to say

DON'T!

haha maybe probably i don't know how to use it.. but i don't like it!

2009-11-27T18:46:00.003+08:00

I have received startling news. Apparently.. my taste of music sucks... hmm? heh.

I was telling some people about this: entering musicfest next year, and naming the band colplay. pretty ingenius huh. Laugh if you must. tut tut..

I feel like i'm wasting my Haji away..

So i'll go get some studying done later. haven't done studying in a long time. But nevertheless, i need to.

This song has stuck in my head by some amazing feat.. so here it is.

Pretty random Graphics. Don't ask

I also found this:

Pretty awesome stuff. you know i'd rather there be three people in this band, with the singer just singing. Sounded pretty rushed. but i loved the idea. i'm gonna go check out their other covers :D

I HAVE GOOD MUSICAL TASTE OK!

2009-11-26T12:03:00.003+08:00

i've got a feeling..... that tonight's gonna be a good night

For some reason this made me laugh

Text Comments (44,593) Options
Scottly211 (22 minutes ago) 0 Reply | Spam
what about tomorow's gonna be one hell of a morning?

like.. WHAT>?!! hahha how's that funny/witty/lame/cool?!
oh whatever the heck.

I HATE THIS: Embedding disabled by request
WTH?!

:D
ok. hungry now. i got milk and eggs. cos' the last batch of eggs were ALL cracked. and were freezing over in their shells. lol. I cooked.. or rather under cooked chicken yesterday for my sister, uh.. me too. i feel quite bad. but it was ok la. just slight slightly rare. fried food scares me. i deep fried it. real deep.

too deep.

oops.

2009-11-22T17:30:00.000+08:00

I just feel so lousy.
I had church rehearsal 4pm, and now is squarely 5.36pm. Argh

By the time i finish everything it'd be over before i get there.
Everything's just bullshit. Argh.

2009-11-18T23:25:00.003+08:00

I have fears. and one of my fears is that cos' i try to be happy so much, that when i actually am not happy no one would take me seriously, and i would be so so mad.

I hit a new low today. Worst i've felt in about a year or so.

Thanks to you people who dealt with my stupid complainin :). even if it wasn't that many people. still thank you People! :D

2009-11-13T11:08:00.001+08:00

Stomachache. Pain...

Made me laugh :D

2009-11-07T03:09:00.003+08:00

You learn a new word everyday

-Gabriel, 2009. haha mark my word. it'll make big one day :D

Today's word is: Precipice.

No marks for guessing where i got that word from. :)

I'm on the precipice of an amazingly taxing and busy and fulfilling day.

8am, training, kickaround, then lunch and L4D? maybe hopefully..

3pm or 4pm meeting for Pw OP, gotta fix up slides and then be at the airport by about 5 for seeing mum off

therefore, how to practice?! uh i'll think of something.

then back home. about 8 or 9pm -ish? depending if we go somewhere after airport.

So.. yea. busy day.

Precipice

2009-11-05T14:17:00.002+08:00

Lol Norman. I'm not emo. I just choose to express my emotions this way :D

"Perfect"

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

2009-11-04T11:55:00.001+08:00

Hi. My name is Gabriel

I will love you.
I will care for you
I will cherish you
I will look out for you

Unless

You make me feel any less human than you or anybody else

2009-11-03T08:10:00.002+08:00

Had a very very very very very unpleasant dream.
Remind me next time not to go to sleep with any hint of a grudge or anger.

I dreamt that my church started selling cakes, and that people were angry with me cos' i didn't like the cakes or something. haha. was really weird. got told off really badly, and we were performing some songs at macdonalds. idk how that works out.

Anyway i'm late for op.

2009-11-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

Wall of fire,
Ten feet or higher

But i'll walk on through.

For you, to you,
For you baby :)

2009-10-28T22:26:00.002+08:00

You know it's strange how sometimes songs can trigger your memory of something. For example, the song

How to touch a Girl by Jojo reminds me of Seletar, cos' my sister used to play it all the time in the morning, when we were getting ready for school. I remember how it used to smell so awesmoe at night and in the morning, cos' there was so much nature around us. In some ways I miss that place. a lot. wouldn't mind moving back there. honestly. :)

Linkin Park- Somewhere I belong
Reminded me of Primary 6 days, when i used to blast such music as i go to sleep.
Never really knew the words. hahha. only the chorus. oh well.

air hostess and That's what i go to school for by Busted
Reminded me of my MP3 player.. which i .. well lost? i can't remember. I think someone took it.

Bubbly-Colbie Callait reminds me of Xin Chen's mum's Chinese tuition. haha. Kevin Darren Andrea Louise Xin Chen.

She will be loved- Maroon 5

Just makes me sad.

Sunday Morning -Maroon 5
Reminds me of DAYM <3

2009-10-24T23:27:00.002+08:00

It's just overwhelming. I wish someone could enter my mind, describe what i'm feeling in three different ways: nice, normal, mean. Then i'd take the nice version and spread it around.

I'm drained. But i'm draining too.

2009-10-23T10:26:00.000+08:00

Things to do:
1. Find out why i did so badly for IS and Crit Thinking
2. Study for Re papers, Chem and Math
3. Study for Chinese
4. Train Hard

lol.

2009-10-20T11:04:00.002+08:00

I'm bummed.. sitting here waiting for math to end so we can go meet Mr Liew.
Just read through someone's comments on our written report, and i don't see much wrong with it. Mum said it's perfectly fine, so i'm not really getting why it seems so detrimental to the rest. maybe i'll see why later. Woke up really late today.. stayed up till 4. First to do bibliography, then just slackin' around. then came the thought.. since i'm gonna regret staying up so late, might as well stay up a bit more, and a bitmore, and more and more. lol. you get the idea.

So i'll be done now, in a JIFFY (Thank you simin!)
and i'll go grab some food first maybe

2009-10-17T03:12:00.001+08:00

I've officially lost my phone. SIGH.

Thanks mum whose helped me cancel the line. i should be gettin my sim card in a giffy. but for now like.. idk. contact my mum if wanna find me? 91089439.. :( it's gonna be real sad without my phone.. hmm maybe if i could get my sim card like tomorrow.

Beauty of globalisation

PW is a PITA
Pain In the @ss.
Today was really awesome :D

baby i miss you already

2009-10-10T00:03:00.001+08:00

today i got to really let loose and free like i haven't done in a long long long time. like way back before promos. closest was minds cafe day with class. haha.
:D

Happy for everyone

2009-10-08T09:15:00.001+08:00

OK. lol this is slightly disturbing. but.. what we do for friends. Lol.

Wadee, be inspired.

Lucas, hahaha. uh.

For all you out there... there's a point where it just stops being sexy.

2009-10-03T18:36:00.001+08:00

haha hilarious

Not so hilarious but cool

Hilarious and cool

Homer Every Day from Noah K. on Vimeo.

2009-10-03T03:36:00.003+08:00

lol a lot in me. it's 3.36am. i just woke up. yep. went home after lunch and then went straight to sleep.

Now playing: Permanent-David Cook

Just got snubbed today. i guess in some way i should understand why. lol. probably isn't as diabolical as i put it out to be. those texts you got while you're sleeping. you can't tell if you're awake or not, and then you dream about it, making it all the worse.

Bio's on Monday. Last paper. well, for a majority of people anyway.

Chinese people, respect. :)

2009-09-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

daym, i really like my latte. Amanda says no sugar allowed. or saliva

2009-09-27T04:22:00.001+08:00

Staying up the whole night is very very efficient.

That is until you stay up for the second night. Then that's just wrong